My Haven the Moon
by honeysuckelvine
Summary: After the mission in the wave country, Naruto feals the weight of his lonelyness, in the continuation which I will add as another chapter, a lot of time hase passed and he reflects on his life and his love for Kakashi.
1. Chapter 1

Title: My Haven The Moon

Pairing: None

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: I don't own anything.

Summary: Naruto ponders his pathetic response to his first encounter with enemy ninja.

Warning: If you haven't seen their first C-rank mission to water country, then you won't understand

The moon is so beautiful, with that hazy ring around it.

I am sitting high up in a tree while my team asleep in the camp below me, recovering from an emotional day. A gust of wind whips through the treetops without warning, the cool breeze ruffling my hair cannot distract me from my thoughts.

I wish that I could go to the moon and stay there. I wish that I could disappear to a beautiful place like the moon, where no one could ever reach me again.

Today was one of the worst in my life. I proved myself to be as worthless as everyone believes me to be.

"Scaredy cat!" It plays over and over in my mind like a broken record. "Scaredy cat!" Sasuke's voice reverberates within my sole.

He will never know how right he was. The enemy surged toward us and I was the only one to freeze. I know what they think. They believe that I was afraid of the man before me. They think that I dread pain or death.

How could I ever hold fear for something that I am painfully familiar with?

I will never dismay over an unknown enemy. My terror is held in reserve for the enemy that I know intimately. The people of my own village are the only one's I fear.

I don't even fear the people themselves so much as how they can affect me.

I knew about the fox within me at a very young age. Respect for the old man stopped me from saying anything. I knew how badly he wanted a normal childhood for me and I would not take that elusion away from him.

I knew of the Fox because my first memory was of talking to him. I must have been four or five at the time when he first made himself known to me. My caretaker had forgotten to feed me again and I was so very hungry.

"Hey, kit. When she finally comes to feed you, bite her in the arm." I was terrified. A deep, bodiless voice was telling me to hurt someone. I didn't know what to do. "Kit! You herd me. Bite her and kick her. She deserves it for the way she treats you."

"Who are you?" I stuttered quietly.

"I am the boogie man kit and I live inside of you."

I knew that the boogieman was very bad and so I thought that it would be best not to listen to what he says because I didn't want to be bad. I wanted to be good so that people would like me. If the boogieman lived in me, then that must explain why no one was nice to me.

As time passed, the Kubie told me who he was and what he had done. He hates the villagers and tries at every chance he gets to convince me to hurt them. I have to be very strong to keep from listening to his sometimes-sweet words.

It can be so hard when I am being hit ad kicked. When curses fly at my head along with rotten food and broken glass, it is very hard to ignore the voice in my head for which I am no longer sure of the owner. It tells me not to take the abuse and to hurt them like they hurt me.

I have to stay very still and take whatever they give me or I might loose control. I am so used to letting them do what they want to me that I froze up in battle from instinct alone.

This is not acceptable. I will not allow the Fox to get in the way of my dreams. "Fox nei-san? Do you want us to live?"

I feel the response rumble from within me, "What kind of impertinent question is that kit?"

"A sincere one." I answer.

"Of course!" He roars.

"Then stay out of my head in battle and with the villagers." I felt him prepare an argument but rushed ahead of him. "I will not move so long as you are in my head. If you want me to defend myself and live for us both, then you need to let me fight on my own or I won't fight at all."

The fax is silent for a long time. I can tell that I have made him think. I simply continue to gaze at the perfect moon above.

"Fine kit. Have it your way." He grumbles.

I am shocked for a moment that I have actually won. Finally, I feel a little bit of peace for the first time in my life, and I lean back to enjoy the phenomenon.

"Your shift is up Naruto." I didn't even hear Kakashi approach.

I glance at him quickly before turning back to the moon. "It is lovely isn't it?" I ask him.

He gives me a strange look before he answers. "Yes it is."

"Will you sit with me and enjoy it for a bit?"

I think that I startled him with my strange request; especially after the day that we had. He stares at me for a moment before steeling down on my branch with me. "I wander what it's like on the moon," he mused after a bit.

I don't even to think about my reply, "Lonely"


	2. My Comfort the Stars

Title: My Comfort the Stars  
Sequel to: My Haven the Moon  
Pairing: Kaka/Naru  
Rating: Pg 13 only because of male male relationship. , very fluffy.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything…. Oh… wait… I see a dust bunny over  
there! I might own that!!! Oops, nope my mistake, my son clamed it.  
Summery: Naruto compares the stars to his friends and contemplates  
the importance of the North Star. Sorry so short! 

The stars are so very beautiful.' Thought Naruto.

He was finally home from his mission and had chosen to lie on his roof rather than in the stuffy heat of his apartment. The cool breeze lifted his blond bangs from his sweaty forehead. Appreciatively, Naruto tilted his face onto the wind.

He had been on a very long mission this time and was very glad to be home again. Eight years had passed since Iruka had given him his forehead protector. In that eight years, Naruto had forged such strong bonds within the village that being away from his home left him horribly homesick.

Tsunade was grooming him to take over her job and so was forced to send him on long diplomatic missions. She always sent one person with him but could spare no more. His image as a strong shinobi who needed no protection had to be fortified long before he could take on the   
position of Hokage.

Naruto understood this but did not have to like it at all. His friends were like the stars to him. He needed their guidance and light in dark times to see him through the night.

Once, a long time ago, on his first mission to wave country, Naruto had thought to take comfort in the solitude of the moon. Over the years, he learned that the warmth of the stars was far superior to the coldness of the moon. The stars lead you with their light and comforted you with their stories. They were most beautiful when grouped together and yet they all maintained their differences.

Most important of all was the North Star. The one star that always outshone the rest and acted as a compass to guide him. His North Star kept him on track and looked down over him faithfully.

Kakashi was his North Star in every way. Naruto had learned a lot from the tales his star had to tell him. He had been warmed on his darkest nights by the light in Kakashi's eyes. He had been led through the roughest roads in his life by the guidance of Northern Star Kakashi.

Naruto hated to be parted from his lover for these tedious missions but had no choice.

When he had arrived at home tonight, it was to an empty home. Naruto had no idea when Kakashi had left for his mission nor when he would return.

The loneliness on nights like this always ate away at the poor blond boy. His only comfort was to stare at the night's sky. The North Star was always waiting there to help him through.

"Why do I always find you looking at the sky at night?" Naruto whipped his head around to find his silver haired lover perched on the edge of the roof. "You are almost worse than Shikamaru and his clouds." The older man teased.

"I was just counting stars." Naruto answered.

He fell back against the tiled roof and waited for Kakashi to join him.

"How many are you up to?" Kakashi whispered into the tanned ear. He began to nuzzle the soft skin of Naruto's neck with chapped lips.

"One," was the breathless answer.

This enigmatic response was enough to give Kakashi pause, "One?"

Naruto smiled and lovingly kissed the mask free lips above him. "Only one star is important enough to count, so I count it over and over again."

Kakashi furrowed his brow in confusion and attempted to quiz his boyfriend but forgot his questions as the boy beneath him showed Kakashi just how much he had been missed.

Oh well, if it was that important, Naruto will tell me later,' where the last coherent thoughts of the jounin for a long time to come.

THE END!


End file.
